I Always Get What I Want

Today I walked into my bedroom and found Ahab, my husband lying on the bed. I asked him if he wanted something to eat and he denied the question. I asked him why he was so solemn. He replied that there was a man who owned  vineyard next to the palace. He had refused to give Ahab the vineyard for the price of a better one or as much money as he wanted. I was so sick of his wimpy attitude when he was the King of Israel. "Get up and eat!" I said "I'll get the vineyard if you want it!". So I wrote letters to the elders and nobles that lived where Naboth lived. Telling them to sit at a table and accuse him cursed by God and the king. Then they fasted after that the nobles took him outside and stoned him to death. Then Ahab, my whining husband went to go and claim the land for himself. When Elijah heard of this he went up to Ahab and told him that dogs would lick up his blood as they did with Naboth's.

-JEZEBEL